A SPANKed-up thief has stolen a van full of El Burro’s latest magazines and left the rear doors open, so copies are falling out all over Portland. Drive the trail in a van, collect every magazine against the clock, kill the thief, and deliver the stock to XXX Mags in the Red Light District.
Objectives
- Take the van and follow the trail of magazines.
- Waste the thief.
- Take the van to the back of XXX Magazines.
Big’n’Veiny walkthrough
El Burro’s stolen stock
El Burro’s latest tasteful photography is being dropped all over Liberty, because a SPANKed-up idiot stole the delivery van and left its rear doors open. Take the van waiting by the payphone and follow the trail of Donkey Does Dallas, volumes one, two and three. When you reach the thief, waste him, then deliver the donkey derby to XXX Mags.
Follow the magazine trail
Drive over each bundle of magazines to pick it up. They lie in a line across Portland, each shown on the radar, and a timer in the top right gets more time as you collect them. The trail runs from Harwood south through Saint Mark’s and Chinatown and on toward Callahan Point. Take the corners tightly, because a missed bundle costs time.
The trail continues past the Callahan Bridge, along Callahan Point and round to Atlantic Quays, then back up through Trenton. Keep the van in one piece: it is slow and wide, and losing it ends the job.
Waste the thief and deliver
At the end of the trail the thief’s van stops at Portland Harbor. Kill him, then drive your van to the back of XXX Magazines in the Red Light District, as the objective tells you. Park in the marker behind the shop to finish.
What fails this mission
Besides dying or being arrested, the mission ends if any of these happen:
- The timer runs out
- The van is destroyed
- The thief escapes
After the mission
El Burro pays $20,000. That ends his missions, and also the last of the Portland payphone jobs.
